This really resonated with me, especially being in my 40’s and realizing that in theory, more of my life is behind me than in front of me, and what do I want to do in my life that feels important right now ✨ I appreciate your words on this! 💛
Wow this is a really powerful piece. It made me think a lot..: I’ve been to the spa today. By myself to drink coffee and read. We’ve had membership for a fair few years and we tend to swap Dave will go for 6 month and then I will… we could have had a new car with the membership costs over the years or paid towards the finance for one but somehow it became a non negotiable for my wellbeing, my rest and my creativity so I kept valuing it and spending the money. 🙏
I love this. Sometimes we forget that wellbeing is an important investment. We say, oh we should put it towards a car, or the mortgage, or doing up the house, or whatever, but if we don't invest in our own physical and mental wellbeing then what's the point of any of the rest?!
You don’t know how right you are. Since the pandemic and developing Long Covid, worries about pensions, materialistic desires or competitive urges to have the best of everything have fallen by the wayside. I can speak from experience and tell you, when your health is on the line, none of these things will matter. Enjoying and appreciating every moment of the here and now is all there really is. Before this happened to me I was such a planner. But no one could plan for 2020, and there was no way for me to know how I would be in 2024. Happiness is in the moment you have right now. Hold it tightly and let tomorrow go.
I'm sorry you've been through that, and you're so right - I always like to have life planned and over the last few years I've realised there's just so much you can't plan for. The here and now is all we ever have.
In my late twenties, I was fired from what I thought was my career job. And I was the only breadwinner for my family of four. Left in a lurch, my partner and I talked about what we really wanted to do. For me, it was starting an artisan bakery; for him, building guitars. We had some tough financial times but ultimately both of us did and still do our dream jobs. Sometimes, you just have to go for it, give up some of society’s expectations and pursue your own dreams. That’s why I write about the good life!😊
Oh my gosh, I love this so much!! Why does it so often take something dramatic like that to push us towards our dreams? I never would've started my own business if I hadn't been pushed out of the world of work after having my first child. But it's the best thing that could've happened to me. If you ever want to share your story as part of my Living Outside the Box series, I'd be so pleased to have you! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS-FXnNYSEvYS3j911nEe2NKUHe_D69Od5RKdsNnMIGnR0kQ/viewform
I have had a complete 180 since I discovered many things this article described...and it's the best thing to know I am not alone in this...I don't want to wait until a tragic diagnosis ..or worse to appreciate life..I want to run and play and rest...and write...right now...
Yes!! I keep reading about people who had life altering diagnoses, and then followed their dreams, and I keep thinking I don't want to wait for something like that before I live the life I want!
Totally agree. I just can't get excited about planning for some imagined tomorrow when we retire. I want the good life now! My husband has now realised that there's no point talking to me about pensions
I don't want to put everything off until I'm old and frail. Yes, I'd like to be able to be comfortable in my old age if I'm lucky enough to get one, but surely there's more to life than that?!
Absolutely love this! 👏 Very well said and 100% agree.. I’ve been living this way since I nearly didn’t make it, after cancer surgery 10 years ago and I’ve never looked back! It shouldn’t take something like that though to change our perspective.. everyone has a right to live how they wish and as long as you’re kind and considerate towards the people close to you.. get at it.. live now.. don’t wait or you might never get the chance. There are always small ways to weave your dreams into your current stage of life 💛
I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm so happy something wonderful was waiting for you on the other side! So often it takes something big to shake us up and point us in the right direction. I know these are lessons I had to learn the hard way.
Thank you for writing this, Allegra. You are so right. It seems such a human thing to save everything for best, when everything is perfect, when we have more time, when we retire. Why wait? i'm not sure what dreams I'm putting off (which is rather worrying!) but I will definitely begin thinking about it. Thank you. 🖤
This makes so much sense! I recently left a public sector job with a great pension and started a business. I no longer have a certain age in front of me at which I can retire… but I’m doing the things I want to do and setting my hours the way I like. Life is happening now, not in ten years!! Thank you for this :)
A wonderful, much needed, writing! Nobody promised us a tomorrow. We need to make our everyday lives satisfying.
To me, the trick (as a 40 year old mom) has been to eat the frog aka do the billable hours as a comm consult between 9-12 and do the writing/other creative stuff in the afternoons before kiddo comes from daycare. It’s not a perfect solution but it makes sure I work enough hours. 🤭
I am absolutely NOT giving advice, just sharing- My ex and I took the kids and travelled a lot while they were growing up- one year we were in Egypt, Turkey and Greece. We lived simply otherwise. One car, an unimpressive house, etc. When the kids were grown and moved away, I got a massage once a week. Still traveled quite a bit. While I have no regrets, really, I was diagnosed with cancer and now don't have the money to "get away" from this house I've been cooped up in for a year. No money for complementary treatments I would like... and am very close to not making my mortgage (divorce a few years ago). I am still a good decade from retirement, but all these questions are now very different for me. I assumed I would have my health until retirement. And believed that there were no guarantees for the future. Now I see that those "no guarantees" for the future me include all kinds of situations that never came into my considerations. It was never a kind of healthy or dead thing. I am now thinking about how I want to treat my 90 year-old future self while still having no regrets should I not make it that far.
This really resonated with me, especially being in my 40’s and realizing that in theory, more of my life is behind me than in front of me, and what do I want to do in my life that feels important right now ✨ I appreciate your words on this! 💛
Wow this is a really powerful piece. It made me think a lot..: I’ve been to the spa today. By myself to drink coffee and read. We’ve had membership for a fair few years and we tend to swap Dave will go for 6 month and then I will… we could have had a new car with the membership costs over the years or paid towards the finance for one but somehow it became a non negotiable for my wellbeing, my rest and my creativity so I kept valuing it and spending the money. 🙏
I love this. Sometimes we forget that wellbeing is an important investment. We say, oh we should put it towards a car, or the mortgage, or doing up the house, or whatever, but if we don't invest in our own physical and mental wellbeing then what's the point of any of the rest?!
It's true - it's such a place of calibration for me. 🤍
I really love this and Inspiring me to travel more with the children
Yes Natalie!! It's definitely a different experience travelling with children, but so amazing for them to broaden their awareness.
You don’t know how right you are. Since the pandemic and developing Long Covid, worries about pensions, materialistic desires or competitive urges to have the best of everything have fallen by the wayside. I can speak from experience and tell you, when your health is on the line, none of these things will matter. Enjoying and appreciating every moment of the here and now is all there really is. Before this happened to me I was such a planner. But no one could plan for 2020, and there was no way for me to know how I would be in 2024. Happiness is in the moment you have right now. Hold it tightly and let tomorrow go.
I'm sorry you've been through that, and you're so right - I always like to have life planned and over the last few years I've realised there's just so much you can't plan for. The here and now is all we ever have.
Wow, Reda, I think I need a “let tomorrow go” tattoo ♥️
Cliche, but being present is the whole point of living—you can’t always put things off because the future really isn’t promised. Well written piece!
The future isn't promised - I love that, it's so true!
In my late twenties, I was fired from what I thought was my career job. And I was the only breadwinner for my family of four. Left in a lurch, my partner and I talked about what we really wanted to do. For me, it was starting an artisan bakery; for him, building guitars. We had some tough financial times but ultimately both of us did and still do our dream jobs. Sometimes, you just have to go for it, give up some of society’s expectations and pursue your own dreams. That’s why I write about the good life!😊
Oh my gosh, I love this so much!! Why does it so often take something dramatic like that to push us towards our dreams? I never would've started my own business if I hadn't been pushed out of the world of work after having my first child. But it's the best thing that could've happened to me. If you ever want to share your story as part of my Living Outside the Box series, I'd be so pleased to have you! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdS-FXnNYSEvYS3j911nEe2NKUHe_D69Od5RKdsNnMIGnR0kQ/viewform
Thank you! Sent it to you. I probably could tell you so much more…
Amazing can't wait to read it!
I have had a complete 180 since I discovered many things this article described...and it's the best thing to know I am not alone in this...I don't want to wait until a tragic diagnosis ..or worse to appreciate life..I want to run and play and rest...and write...right now...
Yes!! I keep reading about people who had life altering diagnoses, and then followed their dreams, and I keep thinking I don't want to wait for something like that before I live the life I want!
Totally agree. I just can't get excited about planning for some imagined tomorrow when we retire. I want the good life now! My husband has now realised that there's no point talking to me about pensions
I don't want to put everything off until I'm old and frail. Yes, I'd like to be able to be comfortable in my old age if I'm lucky enough to get one, but surely there's more to life than that?!
I could not agree with you more Allegra, do things now while you are able, don't save everything up for a day that might never come. 👏 👏
I am having the most indulgent of years this year, stepping off the merry-go-round and it feels amazing! 😘
That sounds wonderful!
Absolutely love this! 👏 Very well said and 100% agree.. I’ve been living this way since I nearly didn’t make it, after cancer surgery 10 years ago and I’ve never looked back! It shouldn’t take something like that though to change our perspective.. everyone has a right to live how they wish and as long as you’re kind and considerate towards the people close to you.. get at it.. live now.. don’t wait or you might never get the chance. There are always small ways to weave your dreams into your current stage of life 💛
I'm sorry you went through that, but I'm so happy something wonderful was waiting for you on the other side! So often it takes something big to shake us up and point us in the right direction. I know these are lessons I had to learn the hard way.
Thank you for writing this, Allegra. You are so right. It seems such a human thing to save everything for best, when everything is perfect, when we have more time, when we retire. Why wait? i'm not sure what dreams I'm putting off (which is rather worrying!) but I will definitely begin thinking about it. Thank you. 🖤
Thank you! I'm glad it's inspired something! ☺️
That question at the end is amazing! Thanks for writing this.
This makes so much sense! I recently left a public sector job with a great pension and started a business. I no longer have a certain age in front of me at which I can retire… but I’m doing the things I want to do and setting my hours the way I like. Life is happening now, not in ten years!! Thank you for this :)
I loved every single word of this. Thank you for writing it.
Thank you!
A wonderful, much needed, writing! Nobody promised us a tomorrow. We need to make our everyday lives satisfying.
To me, the trick (as a 40 year old mom) has been to eat the frog aka do the billable hours as a comm consult between 9-12 and do the writing/other creative stuff in the afternoons before kiddo comes from daycare. It’s not a perfect solution but it makes sure I work enough hours. 🤭
Loved your take on the subject!
Thank you! Yes, it's a juggle for sure (as another 40yo mum!), but a not perfect solution has got to be better than nothing!
I am absolutely NOT giving advice, just sharing- My ex and I took the kids and travelled a lot while they were growing up- one year we were in Egypt, Turkey and Greece. We lived simply otherwise. One car, an unimpressive house, etc. When the kids were grown and moved away, I got a massage once a week. Still traveled quite a bit. While I have no regrets, really, I was diagnosed with cancer and now don't have the money to "get away" from this house I've been cooped up in for a year. No money for complementary treatments I would like... and am very close to not making my mortgage (divorce a few years ago). I am still a good decade from retirement, but all these questions are now very different for me. I assumed I would have my health until retirement. And believed that there were no guarantees for the future. Now I see that those "no guarantees" for the future me include all kinds of situations that never came into my considerations. It was never a kind of healthy or dead thing. I am now thinking about how I want to treat my 90 year-old future self while still having no regrets should I not make it that far.