Wow, Allegra, this hits home. I can’t cat-nap either. And I feel so seen with this: “I lay down. I turned the lights out. I put my phone away. Then I turned the light back on because I didn’t want to strain my eyes reading the retrieved phone in the darkness. I put the phone back, lay down, closed my eyes, opened my eyes again, read a book for a bit, then put the book down because I was supposed to be resting. Then I picked my notebook up because I’d had an idea I wanted to capture.”
This was great Allegra! I particularly loved the point you made about resting/filling up for ourselves not in order to aid more ‘pouring’ out to others. I also like the reframe of rest as being something that you do that is enjoyable. Wishing you better! xx
I very much relate to this Allegra! Thank you for sharing. A year or so ago I came across the work of Nicola at The Relaxed Woman and Luis at Holistic Life Navigation and began exploring why I (and SO many other people) don't feel comfortable resting. Because our bodies don't feel SAFE resting. When we lie down we get jittery and jumpy because it's so unfamiliar; we're so conditioned to be always doing, always productive. And also, what I find when I rest is that often I then notice and get in touch with my feelings - not using busy-ness to distract from them - and there can be a lot of sadness and grief there that's unexpected and hard to be with.
I love how you note that rest doesn't have to be lying down - that doing fun things, things we enjoy, that light us up, that nourish us, is also rest. And I also relate to feeling guilty for doing these things - it's indulgent to write, or walk in nature, or just watch TV for a bit - because I'm not being productive.
It's a long journey for gently practicing, gently showing myself in tiny steps that it's safe to rest.
Degree of difficulty of resting skyrockets with young children in the house. I admired your effort at creating a game where you were a bridge and rest was the game's goal. I was pretty good at inventing games, but never came up with an effective game that involved resting for me.
We've ben empty nesters for almost a decade and while in hindsight we'd say we loved being parents of our children when they were in the house (parental memory is, I believe self-pleasingly selective) we also love this phase of life where we see them as adults on their own.
To answer your question re cold vs flu (as my degree is Physiological Sciences) - they are caused by different viruses. There are a couple of hundred viruses that cause 'common cold' symptoms, and a few strains of the flu virus floating around each year. Flu symptoms come on quicker, are more severe, and are likely to include fever/aches/shivers. Either way, I hope you feel better soon x
You should join The Daily Rest Studio by Emmie Rae. You’ll learn a LOT about rest and it’s honestly life changing and transformative. It’s about a lot more than rest, there’s all kinds of movement and support in there. But to learn to rest is a huge takeaway :) I’ve been a member two years and it’s changed my understanding of and relationship to rest completely.
Wow, Allegra, this hits home. I can’t cat-nap either. And I feel so seen with this: “I lay down. I turned the lights out. I put my phone away. Then I turned the light back on because I didn’t want to strain my eyes reading the retrieved phone in the darkness. I put the phone back, lay down, closed my eyes, opened my eyes again, read a book for a bit, then put the book down because I was supposed to be resting. Then I picked my notebook up because I’d had an idea I wanted to capture.”
This was great Allegra! I particularly loved the point you made about resting/filling up for ourselves not in order to aid more ‘pouring’ out to others. I also like the reframe of rest as being something that you do that is enjoyable. Wishing you better! xx
I very much relate to this Allegra! Thank you for sharing. A year or so ago I came across the work of Nicola at The Relaxed Woman and Luis at Holistic Life Navigation and began exploring why I (and SO many other people) don't feel comfortable resting. Because our bodies don't feel SAFE resting. When we lie down we get jittery and jumpy because it's so unfamiliar; we're so conditioned to be always doing, always productive. And also, what I find when I rest is that often I then notice and get in touch with my feelings - not using busy-ness to distract from them - and there can be a lot of sadness and grief there that's unexpected and hard to be with.
I love how you note that rest doesn't have to be lying down - that doing fun things, things we enjoy, that light us up, that nourish us, is also rest. And I also relate to feeling guilty for doing these things - it's indulgent to write, or walk in nature, or just watch TV for a bit - because I'm not being productive.
It's a long journey for gently practicing, gently showing myself in tiny steps that it's safe to rest.
It seems a bit dystopian that many of us burnt out adults have to rediscover something simple like resting.
Arresting piece.
Degree of difficulty of resting skyrockets with young children in the house. I admired your effort at creating a game where you were a bridge and rest was the game's goal. I was pretty good at inventing games, but never came up with an effective game that involved resting for me.
We've ben empty nesters for almost a decade and while in hindsight we'd say we loved being parents of our children when they were in the house (parental memory is, I believe self-pleasingly selective) we also love this phase of life where we see them as adults on their own.
This resonated with me a lot. I've struggled with 'busyness' and rest my whole life, but have recently got a lot better at it. I wonder what you'd make of this one? https://open.substack.com/pub/womaningwisely/p/the-critical-difference-between-living
To answer your question re cold vs flu (as my degree is Physiological Sciences) - they are caused by different viruses. There are a couple of hundred viruses that cause 'common cold' symptoms, and a few strains of the flu virus floating around each year. Flu symptoms come on quicker, are more severe, and are likely to include fever/aches/shivers. Either way, I hope you feel better soon x
You should join The Daily Rest Studio by Emmie Rae. You’ll learn a LOT about rest and it’s honestly life changing and transformative. It’s about a lot more than rest, there’s all kinds of movement and support in there. But to learn to rest is a huge takeaway :) I’ve been a member two years and it’s changed my understanding of and relationship to rest completely.