This is great and something I've been thinking about a LOT. Like, when I learned that there is a huge chunk of the population that has NO internal monologue, I didn't think that was a GOOD thing? I was also just completely blown away that was even a thing.
I know, right?! I still can't fully understand it. It must be so *quiet* in those people's heads. I couldn't be a writer without an internal monologue. That's where all my ideas and my best lines come from!
While I sometimes wish the voice(s) would shut up (mostly when I'm trying to get to sleep at night!), I only mean temporarily -- because yeah, most of my writing "prep" happens in my head and feels like somebody giving me dictation!
Totally agree. Have you read Dr. Gabor Mate’s The Myth of Normal book? Or his Scattered Minds book about ADHD (which he and his sons have)? One of his main points is that what’s normal in Western capitalist culture is toxic and neurodivergent people are more aware of and affected by that toxicity because of our heightened sensitivity.
Let me know what you think once you read them. Are there other mental health books you recommend? These two and other mental health books I highly recommend are available in my mental health bookshop (as physical or audiobooks, but you can buy them on Amazon or elsewhere if you want ebooks or cheaper used copies): https://bookshop.org/shop/mymentalhealthguide
Your theory has been my own for quite a long time, way before I was diagnosed as autistic and ADHD. I'm staying in the concrete jungle right now (ie. the city) and I look around me and think, 'How are you *normal* if you can cope with this?' When I'm in a group of 'neurotypicals' I sometimes feel like the most normal person there.
My son is 6 and autistic, I see so much of myself in him. I think he would be fantastic on a farm or in nature. It’s weird that we think kids should want to focus on boring things for hours on end.
This is so beautifully written. It makes perfect sense and is so positive and such a welcome change from the usual narratives around ND. I want to share this with everyone.
I 1 million percent agree with you! I have thought about this in the past few years and believe it so strongly, but never seen it all argued and explained as well as fully as you have here. Thank you Allegra!
This resonates with me so much and is kind of what my 9 year has been saying (in a much less in depth way) since getting her diagnosis. How is she so wise?!
This is such an interesting perspective & has kinda made me feel good about myself. Having been diagnosed very late in life this year aged 61 it’s been a lot to take in so I love it when I come across articles like yours.
I love every thing about this essay. Beautifully written!
I have two adult kiddos who are both “neuro-spicy” (as they refer to themselves). And I adore every single unique aspect of them. Thank goodness for the creative genius brains of those who are different from the other lemmings 💞
Thank you for such a thought-provoking piece. So much of it resonates that if I were to print this out I would be underling so many sections of it! I often find myself in situations thinking "How are we all *ok* with this?!". Thank you, this has given me a lot to reflect on.
A lovely thoughtful piece, thank you. I'm pretty sure that I am on the autistic spectrum somewhere, as is the rest of my family, although only one of my 4 children has a formal diagnosis. After spending time volunteering in primary schools, I knew my youngest wouldn't "fit" so decided to home educate. Meeting other home ed families brought us into a community which accepts & celebrates otherness to a much higher degree than most of the rest of society. Looking back at myself as a child and teenager, it's obvious that I was living 2 separate lives, the socially acceptable visible one and the inner one, with it's' running commentary both ensuring I didn't stand out as different yet urging me to be impulsive and nagging me to be creative rather than academic. It's taken almost a whole lifetime but better late than never.
I think so many of us who only came to understand our neurodivergence as adults can relate to that! Hopefully we can give our children a better understanding of themselves from the start.
Such a great post - thank you 🙏. It’s something I go back and forwards with in my mind. Despite being diagnosed, that term sits uncomfortably with me. The whole medical model feels wrong. I really appreciate your interesting angle on this. ❤️
This is great and something I've been thinking about a LOT. Like, when I learned that there is a huge chunk of the population that has NO internal monologue, I didn't think that was a GOOD thing? I was also just completely blown away that was even a thing.
I know, right?! I still can't fully understand it. It must be so *quiet* in those people's heads. I couldn't be a writer without an internal monologue. That's where all my ideas and my best lines come from!
While I sometimes wish the voice(s) would shut up (mostly when I'm trying to get to sleep at night!), I only mean temporarily -- because yeah, most of my writing "prep" happens in my head and feels like somebody giving me dictation!
That really is a thing??? Wow. That is kind of crazy to think about.
Wow I didn't actually know this. My internal monologue doesn't stop, it's hard to imagine what it must be like to *not* have one
Totally agree. Have you read Dr. Gabor Mate’s The Myth of Normal book? Or his Scattered Minds book about ADHD (which he and his sons have)? One of his main points is that what’s normal in Western capitalist culture is toxic and neurodivergent people are more aware of and affected by that toxicity because of our heightened sensitivity.
I have not, I am adding them to my to read list right now!
Let me know what you think once you read them. Are there other mental health books you recommend? These two and other mental health books I highly recommend are available in my mental health bookshop (as physical or audiobooks, but you can buy them on Amazon or elsewhere if you want ebooks or cheaper used copies): https://bookshop.org/shop/mymentalhealthguide
Divergent Mind by Jenara Nerenberg is a wonderful book about depathologising neurodivergence.
Your theory has been my own for quite a long time, way before I was diagnosed as autistic and ADHD. I'm staying in the concrete jungle right now (ie. the city) and I look around me and think, 'How are you *normal* if you can cope with this?' When I'm in a group of 'neurotypicals' I sometimes feel like the most normal person there.
My son is 6 and autistic, I see so much of myself in him. I think he would be fantastic on a farm or in nature. It’s weird that we think kids should want to focus on boring things for hours on end.
This is so beautifully written. It makes perfect sense and is so positive and such a welcome change from the usual narratives around ND. I want to share this with everyone.
Oh thank you!
I 1 million percent agree with you! I have thought about this in the past few years and believe it so strongly, but never seen it all argued and explained as well as fully as you have here. Thank you Allegra!
Thank you!
This is brilliant!
Oh my goodness! 1000 times YES!!!
I just read it and it blew my mind. Such good references and I want to read the pieces you mentioned, it feels so eye opening right now.
Thank you !! x
This resonates with me so much and is kind of what my 9 year has been saying (in a much less in depth way) since getting her diagnosis. How is she so wise?!
This is such an interesting perspective & has kinda made me feel good about myself. Having been diagnosed very late in life this year aged 61 it’s been a lot to take in so I love it when I come across articles like yours.
I love every thing about this essay. Beautifully written!
I have two adult kiddos who are both “neuro-spicy” (as they refer to themselves). And I adore every single unique aspect of them. Thank goodness for the creative genius brains of those who are different from the other lemmings 💞
Thank you for such a thought-provoking piece. So much of it resonates that if I were to print this out I would be underling so many sections of it! I often find myself in situations thinking "How are we all *ok* with this?!". Thank you, this has given me a lot to reflect on.
Thank you so much!
A lovely thoughtful piece, thank you. I'm pretty sure that I am on the autistic spectrum somewhere, as is the rest of my family, although only one of my 4 children has a formal diagnosis. After spending time volunteering in primary schools, I knew my youngest wouldn't "fit" so decided to home educate. Meeting other home ed families brought us into a community which accepts & celebrates otherness to a much higher degree than most of the rest of society. Looking back at myself as a child and teenager, it's obvious that I was living 2 separate lives, the socially acceptable visible one and the inner one, with it's' running commentary both ensuring I didn't stand out as different yet urging me to be impulsive and nagging me to be creative rather than academic. It's taken almost a whole lifetime but better late than never.
I think so many of us who only came to understand our neurodivergence as adults can relate to that! Hopefully we can give our children a better understanding of themselves from the start.
Except in the statistical sense, majority does not equate with normal. It’s just that, a majority.
Love your thoughtful post.
Excellent point!
Such a great post - thank you 🙏. It’s something I go back and forwards with in my mind. Despite being diagnosed, that term sits uncomfortably with me. The whole medical model feels wrong. I really appreciate your interesting angle on this. ❤️