I’ve always been a bit dubious about the idea of the Universe sending you messages.
I also realise this is becoming a theme, my stubborn scepticism in the face of conflicting evidence - I wrote a couple of weeks ago about how I don’t believe in ghosts, but can’t ignore all the times I can’t explain what else has been seen. So maybe there’s a lesson for me in releasing my grip on my need for the rational. But I digress.
I don’t particularly believe that the Universe is sentient. The Universe is powered by energy, and that energy might pull or push you in different directions, reacting to the energy that powers you, bringing together every living thing that pulses with that universal energy. But I don’t think it sits around thinking, “hmm, Allegra really should be a writer, I’ll send her a message to get on with that.” But recently it does seem to be talking to me.
I’ve pulled the same oracle card multiple times. I mostly use Rebecca Campbell’s Work Your Light deck at the moment, and this card has come up over and over and over:
Leap. Leap and the Universe will catch you.
Ok. I mean, I have been thinking about changing direction with my career to focus more on creativity, but worrying that I won’t be able to make a secure living from it, but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.
Then other people started pulling oracle cards for me. I have a few friends who are very into this practice, and they like to sometimes pull cards for other people. Totally out of the blue, I had a few messages from people with cards that spoke of letting go of expectations, of
This is the card my friend Sarah gave to me after she pulled it for me:
I’ve pinned it up on my wall because I think it’s a powerful message and it really speaks to me. I have been holding a lot of tension, a lot of anxiety, a lot of discomfort, and there’s no doubt that most of that melts away when I lean into what feels like my true self. A writer, a creative, a person of ideas and possibilities, of inspiration.
So, ok, maybe I’m starting to feel like the Universe is sending me some messages. That there might be something I’m supposed to know, something I’m supposed to do. But how can you tell if the messages you get are real messages from outside you or just a feeling from inside? I’d love to leap into the unknown and dedicate myself and my business to a creative focus, but is that what the Universe wants of me, is that my true calling, my purpose, or is it just what I want to hear?
But then the Universe left me a voice note.
A woman that I don’t particularly know that well - I’ve only met her a couple of times - left me a voice note to say that she had received a message from the Universe about me. (She did acknowledge that this would probably sound crazy, but she was going to tell me anyway.) She’d been told that I was supposed to be focusing more on my creativity and that was my soul calling.
I mean, come on.
Calling vs choosing
I often here people they’re “feeling called” to do something, and I always wonder if they don’t just mean “I really want to do this”. Does the call really come from outside yourself, or is it a yearning, a pull, from deep inside? How can you tell the difference?
Maybe there isn’t a difference. Your soul’s purpose, your highest calling, whatever you want to call it… isn’t that just the thing that you really love doing? It’s the thing that lights you up. It’s where your skills meet your passions - that sweet spot where you feel totally in flow because you’re doing something that you both love and that you’re good at. You feel confident, you feel powerful, you feel fulfilled.
Labelling it as a “calling” from the Universe, seems to lend it some legitimacy. I’m not choosing to do this crazy, out there thing, we tell everyone (or we tell ourselves) - I’m being called, I have to do it, it’s something that’s being asked of me. In the days when women weren’t allowed to write books, some of them got around it by saying god had told them to. If their works had been divinely inspired, the men couldn’t get angry with them or try to stop them. It feels as if women are still trapped a little in that need for outside permission - I rarely hear men say they’ve been “called” to do something, they just say they want to do it; or, more often, they just get on and do it. Women, on the other hand, will say their work is sanctioned by a higher power to justify them following their path.
There’s also comfort in the idea that a choice is dictated by outside forces. If something is meant to be, then presumably it will work out. The Universe will make it so - the Universe will, as the card promised, catch me. Whereas if this is just something I want, there’s no guarantee of it working out. I might be following a pipe dream, and just saying the Universe told me to do it. Then I’m going to look pretty silly when it all goes wrong.
That said, it’s weird that I keep pulling the same cards over and over. It’s even weirder that other people pull similar messages for me, and even get very explicitly stated similar messages for me. There’s no arguing over the interpretation of that voice note. You could say that the Universe gave me a talent and a passion for writing, so it might very well expect to use it. Yes, maybe I’m choosing this path because I want to, but maybe the Universe wanted me to want to.
Or maybe that energy does just pull in that way. What lights me up, what fuels the energy in my soul, pulls outwards, and the creative energy in the Universe pulls towards it. Maybe that’s what we mean when we talk about synchronicity and manifestation - that when the energy pull within you is aligned with that outside of you, there is energy created that drives related elements in the same direction.
What I do know, is that I need to stop worrying about whether this is what the Universe is telling me to do. I need to stop waiting for permission. I need to stop trying to distinguish between what I’m meant to do and what I want to do, because, ultimately, I believe that we are meant to do the things we want to do. The things that light us up, that bring us joy, are the things we should pursue, otherwise what’s the point of life? If we want something badly enough, we can find a way to make it work, we can make the Universe catch us. It might not be all sunshine and roses, and it won’t necessarily make us millionaires, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned from being thrust into self-employment without a moment’s notice it’s that there is always a way. We give our power away when we feel we have to be sanctioned by a higher authority. We can take charge over our own lives. It is enough to say, this is what I want, so I will have it.
Setting out the vision
While I was debating all this and considering writing this post, I got an email:
The Universe is now following your on Substack.
I nearly fell off my chair. I think this might be time to stop questioning and get on with doing.
So I’m stating my vision here, for commitment and accountability. I want to dedicate myself to a creative life. That might not involve spending all day every day sitting in cafes writing whilst wistfully staring out of the window, because I do still have a mortgage to pay and two kids to feed (and, man, do they eat a lot!). But it can mean making writing into an ever-growing part of my income and my life. It can mean bringing creativity more into my business. It can mean looking for more opportunities to make this work. My dream is to be spending my days focusing on creating - sharing important stories with the world, helping people build big ideas, encouraging other people to find their voice and speak their truth. And to do that flexibly in a way that allows me to spend time with my children while they’re little, because that time is so fleeting, and that also gives me time and space to breathe myself. I want to spend my days doing things that nourish my soul.
And I want the same for you.
So, going forward, I’m going to be offering some free and paid resources to support you in finding your internal purpose and claiming the power to say “this is the life I want”. I also want to make an offering of some services to help with tuning into those whispers of the soul. Each month, I will offer the following:
One free dream interpretation for one paid subscriber
One free tarot reading for one paid subscriber
If you want to take me up on either of those, you can either leave a comment here, or email me at allegra@watchthisspace.uk (make sure you use the email you’re subscribed here with, or tell me what email address you are subscribed with so I can find you on my list).
In the meantime, I have some questions for you to ponder:
What truly lights you up?
How much time do you spend on the things that light you up? Is it enough? How can you bring more of those things into your day-to-day?
Where in your life are you waiting for permission? What would you do if you knew for sure there would be no negative consequences?
Listen to your soul, to your gut, to your intuition. That little voice inside you knows what is right for you. When we lean into that, when we make communicating with that voice a daily practice, we can be confident in our knowing of both our selves, and the world around us. Then we can step into our power and claim our heart’s desire. We can feel able to say, “this is what I want, so I am going to take it”.
I recently heard the advice “follow your blisters, not your bliss” and I really resonated with it. I’ve been good at some things and wanted to do them, but never stuck with it. However, there’s some things I come back to over and over again, even though it’s hard and has required so much growth, because it’s so important and meaningful to me.
I ask for signs from the Universe or my guides regularly, and never receive anything that feels like a sign (at least not since a few decades ago).
As for following my calling or passion, it would require resources which I do not have. I do some of the things which bring me joy, but it is less than a third of my day to day existence.
I am stuck, trying to get unstuck, but not feeling very hopeful.
At any rate, enjoyed your post immensely, as I think abt such things often!