Adore this Allegra, my success markers are definitely based on how excited I feel about life, how settled my nervous system feels, how my creativity flows, how much energy I have in my body and my state of mental wellbeing. It’s about my life force… not about numbers, but it’s very hard to disentangle from that, especially when financially to get a lot of the things above I need to pay for childcare and healthcare to support me in reaching these markers! As always your writing is both thoughtful provoking and soothing xxx
Thank you lovely! Yes it's so tricky to build success purely on our own terms when life still depends on money. But the more I've let go of the idea that I need to buy stuff and go on fancy holidays, etc, the more money I've had to spend on the things I really value. Life would be a lot smoother if writing paid a bit more though. 😆
I love this. It’s how I’ve been feeling for years and women are realising that there are other ways of being (we’re human BEings after all, not doings) that sustain us in ways that don’t trash the planet. Why in the name of the Goddess would we want to go to space when all that money could save the flucking planet?
Thanks again for this piece, Allegra. And here’s to an amazing 2025! 💖
This is so valuable. My definition of success has changed drastically since I had my son eight years ago. I used to pour all of my efforts into the children I taught, aiming for bigger and better musical performances and experiences every term. Now I realise that whilst those opportunities were valuable, the pace I'd set for myself and everyone in my department wouldn't work for me now. I hate being out late and away from my family too!
I love this Allegra. I find success shifts as we age. My definition of success is shifting all the time. I've noticed how it is sneaky though. I used to base my identity on being a teacher. Now I'm 'just' a TA and I look for other ways of making sure I'm doing OK that aren't necessarily all that wholesome.
I spent so long defining my identity by my career, and then, when I became pregnant with my first child and that career was unceremoniously taken away from me, it kicked off a huge identity crisis. We're so primed to see ourselves as what we do instead of valuable purely as who we are.
Yes, yes, yes.. LOVE this Allegra 👏✨👍 I’ve been thinking a lot about exactly this lately... you’ve completely hit the nail on the head and so wonderfully written.. thank you! 🙏👏🥰
My definition of success is having a roof over my head, food in my belly, fairly good health and a happy family. If I can have all of those things, I'm doing ok x
Adore this Allegra, my success markers are definitely based on how excited I feel about life, how settled my nervous system feels, how my creativity flows, how much energy I have in my body and my state of mental wellbeing. It’s about my life force… not about numbers, but it’s very hard to disentangle from that, especially when financially to get a lot of the things above I need to pay for childcare and healthcare to support me in reaching these markers! As always your writing is both thoughtful provoking and soothing xxx
Thank you lovely! Yes it's so tricky to build success purely on our own terms when life still depends on money. But the more I've let go of the idea that I need to buy stuff and go on fancy holidays, etc, the more money I've had to spend on the things I really value. Life would be a lot smoother if writing paid a bit more though. 😆
I love this. It’s how I’ve been feeling for years and women are realising that there are other ways of being (we’re human BEings after all, not doings) that sustain us in ways that don’t trash the planet. Why in the name of the Goddess would we want to go to space when all that money could save the flucking planet?
Thanks again for this piece, Allegra. And here’s to an amazing 2025! 💖
Thank you, Lisa, and right back at ya!
Yes! I’ve often thought that about the space thing!! 👏💕
This is so valuable. My definition of success has changed drastically since I had my son eight years ago. I used to pour all of my efforts into the children I taught, aiming for bigger and better musical performances and experiences every term. Now I realise that whilst those opportunities were valuable, the pace I'd set for myself and everyone in my department wouldn't work for me now. I hate being out late and away from my family too!
I love this Allegra. I find success shifts as we age. My definition of success is shifting all the time. I've noticed how it is sneaky though. I used to base my identity on being a teacher. Now I'm 'just' a TA and I look for other ways of making sure I'm doing OK that aren't necessarily all that wholesome.
I spent so long defining my identity by my career, and then, when I became pregnant with my first child and that career was unceremoniously taken away from me, it kicked off a huge identity crisis. We're so primed to see ourselves as what we do instead of valuable purely as who we are.
You have just written exactly what I have been thinking.
Success to me is watching the people I love most live the life they want to with the support they need
Yes, yes, yes.. LOVE this Allegra 👏✨👍 I’ve been thinking a lot about exactly this lately... you’ve completely hit the nail on the head and so wonderfully written.. thank you! 🙏👏🥰
Thank you! ❤️
Love this.
My definition of success is having a roof over my head, food in my belly, fairly good health and a happy family. If I can have all of those things, I'm doing ok x
That all sounds good to me!
I have so much to say on this from 2024. And I know I go on, so I won’t, other than saying ‘I feel seen’. Thank you for sharing.
You're always welcome to "go on" here if and when you want to. But thank you.
This is powerful! Welcome home to yourself. ✨️
I love that, thank you!