Allegra, this was beautiful, and spoke so much to how I feel too. I am with you, not entirely on board with the whole star-seed thing, but I do think that as we become more 'awake' to our authenticity, our intention and our alignment, we get deeper and deeper senses of urgency - perhaps more so when it comes to us in midlife and later, as almost grief for not getting more of our purpose, our calling, our love (whatever you want to call it) done before now. I am 49, and this feeling has been so strong for me since leaving my full time day job 18 months ago (and indeed in the two year transition out of it) and becoming a creative full time. It is hard, but so worth it, though the sense of urgency can be overwhelming if I let it be. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
Oh thank you so much! And I think you're right about that sense of grief. I feel like I wasted so much time. But then, if I hadn't been having all the experiences I had in my 20s and 30s, what would I have to write about now? And would I have ever learned to know myself as much as I do now? So perhaps it's all been leading to this point and this is where I'm supposed to be right now.
Allegra you just got into my head and wrote out my own thoughts! When I was in my 40's I also felt like time was going far too quickly and I had so much (unnamed stuff) to do. I was in a panic about it and my husband did not share my concern🤣. I too reached for the wine, oops I mean chocolate biscuits!
Everything you wrote resonated so deeply with me. Here is what I can tell you from the vantage point of being 57...
I still feel that way on some level but it's much less intense.
With years of intentional effort I have been able to find my way to the things I am here to do. What I mean by that is many stops and starts, failures and uncertainties, to arrive at a place where I feel I have arrived and it's good!
Life gets much easier than it is right now, with a 2 year old gorgeous child you wouldn't change for anything...but still...(yawn) sleep is helpful.
Lastly, there is surrender and acceptance of what is. I have found that has got easier with each year.
I love what you’ve written Allegra....we all need purpose...so many people are not conscious of this. I am 58.... and have driven myself all my life, aspiring and finding purpose, passionate environmentalist and wanderer. I am calmer now but still have a passion for those things. I work full time in the environment sector and that is hard...I read constantly ...a lot about our dying planet and what we have done to it...time is running out and I can only do small things. But my love of writing and clearly yours channels my feelings on this. Thank you.
Thank you, Anona! And actually that's interesting - a sense of purpose can also be a challenge because when you're passionate about making a change, it feels more pressing, and more distressing, when those changes aren't happening, or when they seem to be happening too slowly. The climate crisis is something that keeps me awake at night, and it's easy to feel powerless as just one person. But as you say, all we can do is the small things in our control and hope that, as a global community, we can keep moving forward. If you haven't read Sarah Lewis' Substack about writing and climate change, I highly recommend it: https://fictionalsarah.substack.com/
I used to think I was running out of time Allegra coming a bit late to the purpose party, but now I remind myself that I’ve got lifetimes to continue what I start, so whatever I don’t get completed this time around will continue. Strangely I find this comforting! We often go looking for purpose as though we left it in the car or behind the fridge. We only need to connect to it one step at at time. You’re right sometimes it’s not a grand gesture or massive change, just doing something that lights us up. 🙏💫
Allegra, this was beautiful, and spoke so much to how I feel too. I am with you, not entirely on board with the whole star-seed thing, but I do think that as we become more 'awake' to our authenticity, our intention and our alignment, we get deeper and deeper senses of urgency - perhaps more so when it comes to us in midlife and later, as almost grief for not getting more of our purpose, our calling, our love (whatever you want to call it) done before now. I am 49, and this feeling has been so strong for me since leaving my full time day job 18 months ago (and indeed in the two year transition out of it) and becoming a creative full time. It is hard, but so worth it, though the sense of urgency can be overwhelming if I let it be. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
Oh thank you so much! And I think you're right about that sense of grief. I feel like I wasted so much time. But then, if I hadn't been having all the experiences I had in my 20s and 30s, what would I have to write about now? And would I have ever learned to know myself as much as I do now? So perhaps it's all been leading to this point and this is where I'm supposed to be right now.
Allegra you just got into my head and wrote out my own thoughts! When I was in my 40's I also felt like time was going far too quickly and I had so much (unnamed stuff) to do. I was in a panic about it and my husband did not share my concern🤣. I too reached for the wine, oops I mean chocolate biscuits!
Everything you wrote resonated so deeply with me. Here is what I can tell you from the vantage point of being 57...
I still feel that way on some level but it's much less intense.
With years of intentional effort I have been able to find my way to the things I am here to do. What I mean by that is many stops and starts, failures and uncertainties, to arrive at a place where I feel I have arrived and it's good!
Life gets much easier than it is right now, with a 2 year old gorgeous child you wouldn't change for anything...but still...(yawn) sleep is helpful.
Lastly, there is surrender and acceptance of what is. I have found that has got easier with each year.
Thank you so much, Donna, that is so helpful to hear. I'm glad you've found your direction, and the peace that comes with that.
I love what you’ve written Allegra....we all need purpose...so many people are not conscious of this. I am 58.... and have driven myself all my life, aspiring and finding purpose, passionate environmentalist and wanderer. I am calmer now but still have a passion for those things. I work full time in the environment sector and that is hard...I read constantly ...a lot about our dying planet and what we have done to it...time is running out and I can only do small things. But my love of writing and clearly yours channels my feelings on this. Thank you.
Thank you, Anona! And actually that's interesting - a sense of purpose can also be a challenge because when you're passionate about making a change, it feels more pressing, and more distressing, when those changes aren't happening, or when they seem to be happening too slowly. The climate crisis is something that keeps me awake at night, and it's easy to feel powerless as just one person. But as you say, all we can do is the small things in our control and hope that, as a global community, we can keep moving forward. If you haven't read Sarah Lewis' Substack about writing and climate change, I highly recommend it: https://fictionalsarah.substack.com/
I used to think I was running out of time Allegra coming a bit late to the purpose party, but now I remind myself that I’ve got lifetimes to continue what I start, so whatever I don’t get completed this time around will continue. Strangely I find this comforting! We often go looking for purpose as though we left it in the car or behind the fridge. We only need to connect to it one step at at time. You’re right sometimes it’s not a grand gesture or massive change, just doing something that lights us up. 🙏💫
I love this - it's not something out there that you can find and pick up, it's inside you and you need to tune into it, but also build it up steadily.