November has begun. It’s a very important month for me, for reasons we’ll dive into in a moment.
But first I want to let you know what’s being offered in this week’s Sparks:
Reflections on falling in love with November
Three book recommendations to bring joy to this time of year
Three creative prompts to celebrate the darkness
November rain
November used to be probably my least favourite month of the year. Which is ironic, as it’s the month of my birthday. It should be an exciting time of celebration, but somehow I could never get enthused about turning over the calendar to this page. It’s dark, it’s cold, it’s wet. Going out to celebrate anything seems to be a monumental effort in these conditions. I can’t spend the time in nature that I would like to, and the landscape around us feels like a bare and inhospitable place.
There’s also a lot of pressure that society has placed on this month. We’re expected to get ready for Christmas, which essentially means just spending vast amounts of money that we can’t really afford to spend. This is when the capitalist machine gets most aggressive. The adverts have already started - I very rarely watch TV with advertising anymore, but even I’ve seen the messages telling me that I need to buy various things for my friends and family (that they don’t want), that my home isn’t good enough and needs to be revamped in time for the festivities, and that I, too, need a makeover and a new outfit before I’m suitable for the season. We’re expected to prepare magical experiences for the children - so much pressure to make it so very magical - and offer up a bounty of food to our families, while hosting gatherings for our friends. It’s exhausting.
In December, we have all the twinkly lights and the festive gatherings themselves to make it all feel a little better. But in November, we’re juggling all this weight in the dark. No wonder everyone seems a little more grumpy and withdrawn this time of year.
It’s another example of how out of sync with our natural rhythms our society has become. While the capitalist machine is pushing us to go, go, go, our bodies are telling us to slow down. The increased hours of darkness stimulate production of melatonin, the hormone that helps us to sleep. Nature is turning inwards at this time, focusing on preparing the new life within the dark soil that will burst out into the daylight in spring. We’re being asked to turn inwards, too. To slow down, to reflect, to tend to what needs nurturing within us ready to bring it to light in spring.
It’s a shift, as well, from the drama and excitement of last week. At Samhain, we were looking at the vast possibilities available to us and daring to believe in the dreams of our soul. It feels like now the world should be opening up to us so that we can charge after our goals. And yet, instead, we’re faced with darkness and emptiness, and a bleak landscape that asks us to pause a little. I was struck by a recent post by
that talks about how the first moment of powerful and energising inspiration is followed by hesitancy and questioning. The first stage of the archetypal Hero’s Journey is to try, at all costs, to avoid the Call to Adventure, until it becomes impossible for them to do so. We often run away from our dreams, rather than towards them, because we fear change, we fear possibility, and we lack confidence in our ability to become our fullest selves. It’s not a flaw in us, this fear - it’s a natural and important part of the process. It’s a pattern that’s been noted again and again, and it’s a pattern in our natural rhythms. We need to lean into that and embrace the fear and the darkness. The dark is where all life is created, it’s where we were created, and it’s where we can create magic if we’re willing to dig deep.To nurture this sense of magic in the dark months,
I’ve started to lean into the coming of winter. I now make a ritual of preparing for the cold. The first time I can light a fire in the evening has become an important marker. I enjoy bringing out the snuggly blankets, layering myself up in warm, woollen clothes, and surrounding myself with candles. Celebrating cosiness, finding joy in those elements that can only exist in the dark and cold, makes this time of year more inviting and something to look forward to. It’s the reason that I decided to hold my Cosy Creative Retreat this week, to share that enjoyment in creating cosy and nourishing spaces in the winter with a lovely creative community. I now love November. I’m even looking forward to my 40th birthday next week!
Books to celebrate the darkness
If you’re struggling with the onset of winter, you’re not alone. It’s estimated that as many as one in three people in the UK are affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder, a feeling of melancholy that comes with the increased darkness. When you consider how much we’re fighting our natural impulses at this time of year, it’s not surprising that so many people struggle. But there’s much to treasure in the dark and cold too. Here are three books that have really helped me to embrace the joy in winter:
Wintering by Katherine May
Wintering is a beautiful exploration of fallow times, both in nature and within us.
shows us the power of turning inward, of slowing down, and allowing ourselves to both appreciate and tune into the fertile void of winter, and to nurture our inner landscape and tend to ourselves during times that feel bleak and empty in our lives.Calm Christmas by Beth Kempton
This book helped me to connect to everything I found troubling about the Christmas season, and to unpick and then let go of a lot of the societal expectations so that I could build a Yuletide season that feels nurturing and enjoyable, instead of pressuring and draining.
provides practical exercises and journal prompts to help you define the Christmas that will bring you joy. I go back to it every year at this time to reflect on what I want to create during this season and to remind myself to claim my sense of festive joy, not follow someone else’s blueprint.Slow Seasons by Rosie Steer
Not specifically about winter, Slow Seasons has reflections for every part of the year, following the Celtic Wheel of the Year with beautiful explorations of traditions, recipes and activities to help you enjoy every season.
has created a gorgeous celebration of slow living and a guide to aligning your life with the seasons. If you get your copy now, you can start with the Yule section.Creative sparks
With everything we’ve talked about in mind, this week’s prompts are designed to help you meet the darkness, both outside and within, and recognise its power and beauty.
Journal prompt: what have you buried?
There are so many expectations on us at all times, never more than over the festive period, that we bend and twist ourselves to try to fit within the box society has designed for us. It’s rarely one that fits.
Spend some time journaling on what you’re suppressing. What feelings, needs, desires do you keep hidden? What big dreams are you running from or trying to ignore? If you were to be completely honest and unafraid, what changes would you make in your life?
Exploration: shadow art
One way to get in touch with your shadow self, the side of yourself that you keep hidden, is to allow it to express itself through creativity. Take a large piece of paper, a range of paints, pastels or any medium you enjoy working with that can easily make colour. Wear something you don’t mind getting messy, and cover any surfaces.
Now, put on some gentle music, take some deep breaths, and close your eyes. Allow yourself to explore the art materials without looking, making whatever marks you’re drawn to with the colours that find their way to your hands. You can use paintbrushes and sponges, but I prefer to just squeeze paint directly onto the paper and then use my fingers to move it around to fully connect physically with the paint. Try to look at what you’re doing as little as possible. Invite your shadow self to express what’s within.
When you feel like you’re finished… keep going a little longer. Pushing yourself to add more can bring out those feelings that you’ve been trying not to allow out. When you really are done, sit back and look at what you’ve created. What does it say to you? What do the colours, shapes and patterns suggest to you?
Creative spark: facing the truth
Use this prompt to inspire your work in whatever medium calls to you this week.
If you have a current project on the go, you could think about what role hidden truths play, or what your subject needs to face up to. What does it mean for your subject to confront the truth or reality?
Or you could use this spark to inspire something new that centres around facing truths that have been suppressed.
I’d love to know if you create something with these sparks, or if anything else I’ve shared has sparked something for you. Feel free to share your work or thoughts in the comments. And if you enjoy these newsletters, please do consider encouraging your friends to join our community here.